Let the past sleep, but let it sleep in the sweet embrace of Christ, and let us go on into the invincible future with Him. (Oswalt Chambers)

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Dreaming of the Future

Last night I had a dream where I had two kneecaps on each leg. I kept staring at them and I couldn't figure out where the extra kneecaps came from. Then someone explained to me that double kneecaps happen when you get older. I never knew.

The real physical changes that are happening as I get older are almost as mystifying as double kneecaps even though I did know about them. I've been studying elderly people since I was a child. I used to work in a geriatric nursing home. My aging body should not be a surprise. Instead it seems to be one surprise after another as it happens to me.

Gray hair. Wrinkles and sags. Hair in strange places. Memory lapses. Trifocals. Aches and pains. More aches and pains. Yikes!

I'm learning what it means to be "long in the tooth". It means that food is going to visibly stick to my teeth and I'm going to have to act like an old person and pick it off. Yuck!

Even with all the usual signs of aging present, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm almost sixty because it seems impossible. When I say it out loud it makes it more real. It's like I'm plugging myself into reality.

So far I've been able to accept and deal with the manifestations of aging. It's what is yet to come that concerns me. How bad is this going to get? What if I really do end up with four kneecaps?

No comments: